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Da Vinci Code: The Movie

// May 22nd, 2006 // films, random

Despite overwhelmingly bad reviews, I went to see the Da Vinci Code last night. Of the $224 million dollars it raked in across the globe over the weekend, making it the second largest worldwide opening weekend ever, only $21.90 of that previously belonged to Rachel and myself.

Anyway, here’s the gist of my review- boring. Seriously this was a boring movie. It plodded along with absolutely none of the engine that the book had. Tom Hanks, is obviously not a fan of intellectuals, because his portrayal of a Harvard professor amounted to the most stone-faced, ineffectual, performance of his career, and Audrey Tautoo had only one expression, confusion, for the entire movie. No wonder the film had none of the latent sexual tension between the two leads, they were both too bored to notice each other.

I mean this could have been a fun movie, car chases, hulking albino assassins, high ranking conspiracy- and yet nothing materialized.

It really seemed that Howard, true to form, didn’t want to offend anyone. He softened Hanks’ character, and made him more sympathetic to Christians, he absolved the Vatican of any wrong-doing and had the “bad guys” working without the knowledge or approval of the church, he downplayed the role goddess worship and even made rank-and-file Opus Dei members come out on the side of angels.

After all the nervous hand-wringing by Christians across the globe, the only people who should really be offended about this movie is anyone that payed $10.95 a ticket to see it.

Seriously dissappointing.
** out of *****